


A Press of the Lips Here, a Peck There… Kisses, Kisses Everywhere

by Nerdist



Category: Milo Murphy's Law
Genre: But He Lives Bitch, Dakota Almost Dies At One Point, M/M, Small Mention of Zack/Milo, Stupid Love-Struck Nerds Being Oblivious, There Are So Many Kisses Guys Like Holy Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-06 09:38:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14054097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdist/pseuds/Nerdist
Summary: So, this started as me wanting to write a short birthday fic for my friend Priestlyislove and ended up being over 7,000 words long. Happy belated B-Day, Priestlyislove! This fic is about 4 times Cavendish kissed Dakota and 1 time Dakota kissed him first. To say the least, they are two idiots in love and can't get a fricking clue that they like each other. I hope you like it!





	1. Kiss my Boo-Boo Better

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Priestlyislove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Priestlyislove/gifts).



> To my cool friend Priestlyislove who is a talented artist, writer, and kills me with all their dakavendish angst headcanons. Happy late bday my dude!

“Ah shit, ow!” Dakota hissed as he yanked his hand away from the hot pan and let it fall upside down to the ground with a loud crash.

All of the pan’s contents spilled onto the floor, causing Vinnie to wince at the mess he had created. Dakota put the burning digits into his mouth, hoping to alleviate the stinging sensation.

Before he could make a move to clean up the ruined dinner, his partner rushed in and frantically asked, “Are you alright? I heard quite the ruckus.”

Vinnie turned to Cavendish and gave him a quick once over, heart beating a bit quicker. For once, Balthazar was out if his stuffy work suit and hat and wearing a worn but comfy pair of jeans and a green flannel. It looked like Cavendish had been in the middle of buttoning it before he got interrupted by all the noise Dakota made. Seeing the exposed skin of Balthazar’s chest almost (definitely) made burning his fingers worth the pain. Vinnie mentally shook himself. Now was not the time to be distracted by how stupidly hot his partner was. They were just friends and no little crush was going to ruin that friendship for Dakota, no matter how much his heart screamed at him to stop being an idiot and go for it. Besides, there was no way Cavendish would be interested in him.

“I’m good. Just a few singed fingers is all. The pot holders I was using must have slipped a little when I was trying to grab the pan. Although,” he gestured to the mess on the ground, “it looks like our lasagna is lasa-gone.”

Cavendish groaned in disgust and rolled his eyes so aggressively that Vinnie was surprised they didn’t fall right out of his head. Stomping to where Dakota was standing, Balthazar grabbed the hand with the burned fingers and examined them with a critical eye.

“You must be fine if you are still able to make such atrocious puns like that,” Cavendish grumbled.

Dakota shrugged and smirked at his partner, pleased with himself and the joke. Dakota’s fingers were already taking on an angry shade of red, so Balthazar dragged him towards the kitchen sink. Cavendish then turned on the cold water and placed the burnt digits under the stream.

“Now,” Cavendish stated as he walked over to the mess, “you keep those fingers of yours in the water until I’m done cleaning up.”

Putting on some oven mitts, Balthazar grabbed the least dirty edges of the pan and put it in the sink to clean off later. Cavendish then scraped the rest of lasagna off of the floor using a spatula and a plate and threw the ruined dinner in the garbage.

“Dakota, can you please hand me the dish towel?”

“Sure can do, Cav.”

Since Vinnie’s dominate hand was currently soaking in cold water, he tried tossing the rag to Balthazar with his right. The was a resounding slap as it smacked Cavendish right in the forehead and fell to the floor. Balthazar sent him a withering glare his way and Dakota couldn’t help the snorts of laughter that escaped him.

Cavendish said in a deadpanned tone, “How can I possibly express my gratitude for such a gift.”

Vinnie lost it and started to wheeze. He had to grip the side of the sink with his one good hand to prevent himself from completely collapsing to the floor. It took a few minutes for Dakota to finally calm himself and apologize.

“Oh my god, Cav,” he croaked out as he wiped the tears from his eyes, “I’m so sorry, but that was the best fucking thing I have seen in ages. Your response was priceless.”

Balthazar shook his head and sighed as he began wiping down the floor.

“At least someone can find joy in light of my misery,” he grouched.

“Now you’re just being over-the-top. I really am sorry though. I was aiming for your hands, promise.”

Cavendish sighed and replied, “I know. It’s alright. I’m only a little soggy.” Looking over at Dakota, he asked, “How is your fingers? Any better?”

Vinnie shut off the water and wiggled them. They were mostly numb, though there was sting that seemed to linger.

“They still hurt a bit, but I’ll live.” A cheeky idea popped into his head and Dakota mischievously wiggled his eyebrows at Cavendish. “I bet if you kiss them, they’d get better.”

Balthazar raised an eyebrow at him as he pulled himself off the floor and tossed the rag into the sink.

Facing Vinnie, Cavendish said with a smirk, “And you say I’m over-the-top. You’ll be perfectly fine, kiss or no kiss.”

“But Cav…” Dakota whined, “My boo-boos can only be healed with a kiss from a man with a funny British accent. It said so in my horoscope.”

A peal of laughter escaped Balthazar, the unexpected response catching him off guard while a dopey, love-struck grin formed on Vinnie’s face. Getting Cavendish to laugh so freely was a rare experience and the fact that he caused it made Dakota’s heart do an Irish jig.

Once he was done laughing, Balthazar gave him a soft smile and said, “Alright, if it will make you feel better…”

Before Vinnie could tell him he was just kidding, Cavendish leaned in closer, gently grabbed his left hand and pressed a feather-light kiss to each of the injured fingers. Dakota’s mind immediately went blank, any clever joke or response he could have made to alleviate the tension forever lost within his own mind.

“Any better?” Balthazar asked.

Vinnie jolted out of his stupor and laughed awkwardly.

“Uh, yeah! Yeah, yeah. Loads better. Thank you so much. Really appreciated it.”

Dakota really hoped he wasn’t sweating too much in front of Cavendish. Balthazar gave him another smile, this one more playful. Vinnie didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed that Cavendish was just playing along with the joke.

“Good,” Balthazar then pushed Dakota towards where the bathroom was. “Now put some ointment on the burns so they don’t blister.”

Dakota nodded dumbly and went into the bathroom without saying another word. After closing the door, Vinnie leaned against it, trying his hardest to calm his rapidly beating heart. 

‘Cavendish is my friend. He was just playing along. He doesn’t like me like that.’

Dakota repeated this mantra in his head until he deemed himself ready to face Balthazar once more and left the bathroom, forgetting to put on ointment. Surprisingly, his fingers didn’t seem to hurt at all.


	2. You gotta little something on you cheek, let me kiss it off

Dakota loved it when their missions, whether assigned by Mr. Block or self-imposed, took them to carnivals or fairs. Fast rides, greasy food, and carnival games… Vinnie loved it all. Dakota was surprised when he discovered that Cavendish was also a fan, though roller coasters tended to make his partner puke his guts out. However, Balthazar was a master when it came to the ring toss and ball tossing carnival games. Cavendish also had a weakness for sweets and would always get a caramel apple or mini donuts every time they went to one.

Today, they were able to successfully destroy the pistachio stand Brick and Savannah were protecting at Danville local county fair. Well, technically Milo and his friends destroyed it when the ball Milo was using to hit the pins ricocheted off a post and into the glass case holding the pistachios, causing the green nuts to spill to the ground. While covered in shattered glass and who knows what else on the ground, Brick and Savannah still could have saved the pistachios if they hadn’t spontaneously combusted. Brick had all but destroyed his suit coat trying to put out the fire, which was absolutely hilarious. All in all, Vinnie considered today to be an overall success. 

For once, Dakota had enough money to treat himself, Balthazar, and the kids to some delicious frozen treats in celebration. Though the kids were a bit confused as to why they were celebration the destruction of the stand, but they still accepted their ice creams with excited smiles and, in Melissa’s case, grabby hands. Milo, after finding out about Cavendish’s ring toss prowess, dragged the group towards the game stand to play. 

So Vinnie watched them as he worked on finishing his frozen treat, a triple scoop of raspberry, chocolate, and vanilla ice cream in a chocolate dipped and rainbow sprinkles covered cone. Unfortunately, Milo was banned from throwing rings after the last ring he tossed ended up knocking over every single bottle, so he decided to cheer on Zack instead. Dakota couldn’t decide if Zack kept missing the bottles because of Murphy’s Law or because he was so flustered with all the encouragement he was getting from Milo. Zack has it bad for that boy, that’s for sure. 

‘Ah, the wonders of young love,’ Vinnie thought to himself.

Meanwhile, Balthazar and Melissa were currently having a ring tossing contest. The first one to get to five bottles would be declared the winner. Cavendish at the moment was ahead at three bottles and Melissa hadn’t gotten a single one.

“Oh come on!” Melissa cried as Balthazar’s ring landed perfectly on the bottle, “There is no way you can be this good. These games are literally rigged for people to lose! How are you even doing that?”

“When your parents force you to partake in horseshoe throwing contests throughout childhood, you eventually get a pretty decent aim for these kinds of things. You will get there one day.”

“Well, I want to get there now,” she muttered.

She tossed her own ring and groaned as it landed a good foot away from the bottle. Cavendish chuckled good-naturally, earning him a dirty look from Melissa, and began giving her some tips on how to improve her throwing technique. Dakota shook his head fondly, heart warm with seeing his makeshift family enjoying themselves. Melissa put Balthazar’s advice to the test, tossing it underhand rather than throwing it like a Frisbee. It got more distance this time and traveled in a graceful arc. It landed on a bottle in the middle row and actually stayed there. Melissa whooped for joy while Cavendish gave her a round of applause.

“BOOM! I got your number now, ring toss!”

“Well done, Melissa!” Balthazar exclaimed.

“Nice job, kid,” Vinnie said. “Knew you could do it.”

Seeing their friend’s success, Milo and Zack began to cheer as well. However, when Milo launched himself to hug Melissa, he got her off balance. The two of them stumbled into Dakota, who had been leaning against the stand and about to take a bite out of his ice cream. Instead of getting the ice cream into his mouth as intended, it got all over his chin and cheek. The rest of his treat slipped out of his fingers and laid in ruin at his feet. After steadying himself and Melissa, Milo dug around his backpack and handed him a couple of paper napkins as he gave Vinnie an embarrassed smile.

“Sorry about that, Mr. Dakota.”

Wiping himself off, Dakota replied, “It’s alright, Milo. Nothing a few napkins can’t fix.”

He just threw the napkins away when Cavendish stated, “Wait, you missed a spot.”

“Ah cra-crud,” Vinnie nearly cursed. 

He tried reaching the last bit of ice cream with his tongue, but was failing miserably. 

Milo was about to reach into his backpack to grab more napkins when Balthazar rolled his eyes affectionately and said, “Here, let me help you.”

Dakota immediately turned bright red as Cavendish kissed the last bit of ice cream off of his cheek. If Balthazar continued to surprise him with kisses, Vinnie’s heart was going to explode out of his chest ‘Alien’ style. The kids stared at them. Milo had stars in his eyes and had a big goofy grin to match while Melissa and Zack had knowing smirks on their faces.

Cavendish pulled away with a small smile, his cheeks the slightest shade of pink.

‘How does one breathe again?’ Vinnie thought to himself.

“There, good as new,” Cavendish said, “Now, I don’t know about you, but I could go for a corndog. Would anyone like one?”

Dakota gave him a shaky thumbs up while the kids shouted ‘yes’ at varying levels of excitement.

“Alright then, I’ll be right back.”

Once Balthazar was out of sight, Milo was finally able to squeal in joy at the events that had just transpired.

“Awww,” Milo cooed, “Mr. Cavendish kissed Mr. Dakota on the cheek! That was so adorable I could have died!”

Melissa raised an eyebrow and said, “Took you guys long enough.”

Dakota, blushing even further, began waving his hands frantically.

“It’s not what you think… Cav was… He was just playing a joke, guys. It was nothing. It meant nothing.”

“It didn’t look like nothing,” Zack replied. “I’m pretty sure he’s into you, Dakota.”

Dakota shook his head, “I… No, he’d never feel that way about me. We’re just friends. Honest.”

The kids all traded looks with one another, as if trying to say ‘when are these two idiots going to get together?’ with their eyes. 

Melissa shrugged and said nonchalantly, “Alright, if you say so. But we should probably go find Cavendish. I can’t imagine it’d be easy to carry all of our corndogs over to us.”

As they began to walk towards the nearest corndog stand, Milo patted Dakota on the shoulder. 

“Don’t worry, Mr. Dakota. I’m positive that you two will work everything out.” Milo then whispered, “Also, if you two get married, can I be the flower boy?”

Vinnie barked out a laugh at his eagerness and said, “Kid, if I marry Cav, you can be my best man.”

“Really?” Milo exclaimed, eyes shining brightly with excitement.

“Of course.”

“YES!” Milo shouted as his fist pumped into the air, “I’m GOING TO BE A BEST MAN!”

Dakota smiled, though he did feel a bit guilty about getting Milo’s hopes up. Vinnie really needed to get his emotions under control if these kisses were going to be a regular thing. Otherwise, Dakota’s heart was going to get broken sooner or later.


	3. Don’t you ever do that to me again

The sensation of something wet dripping onto his hand woke Dakota up the first time. Vinnie tried to open his eyes and see what was going on, but it was as if his eyelids were glued together like that one time he tried to put on false eyelashes. A voice began speaking and Dakota willed all of his concentration into listening to what it said.

“-kota, I swear if you weren’t injured and unconscious right now, I would slap you upside the head for being such a bloody, self-sacrificing ignoramus. You better wake up.”

Vinnie didn’t know what he did to piss this person off, but he wished could apologize to them. Stupid mouth not wanting to listen to his brain. Dakota tried to place the voice but for the life of him, he couldn’t remember. The voice spoke once more.

“If I were to lose you because of me, I-” the voice broke, a choked sob escaping their throat, “I would never forgive myself. You… you are the light of so many people’s lives. Including mine.” They then barked out a humorless laugh, “It should be me in that bed, not you. Besides, I’m just a crotchety old man who is too stubborn to admit when he’s wrong and complains endlessly.”

Vinnie desperately wanted to move, to hug him, to tell this mysterious person that he’d sacrifice himself a hundred times over if it meant that the man would be safe. Despite not recognizing the voice talking to him, Dakota knew in his heart that this man was an important, if not the most important, part of his life. 

“Vinnie… I know that you can’t hear me right now.”

‘I’m listening!’ Dakota screamed within his own mind, ‘I’m here, I swear!’

The voice continued, “But I need you to promise me something.”

‘Anything. I’d give Death a knuckle sandwich if you asked me to.’

The sound of a chair scraping on the floor indicated to Vinnie that the mystery man was getting up. He could feel the other man’s presence as he leaned over Dakota and pressed a soft kiss onto his forehead. It tickled a bit as what must have been the man’s mustache brushed against his skin. Now if only Dakota could remember the man’s name. Didn’t it start with a K? Or was it a C? Maybe a secret Q? Dakota felt himself slipping from the world of consciousness and fought to hold on so he could hear what the man had to say.

The owner of the voice leaned his forehead against Vinnie’s, tears from the other falling onto his face as the man whispered, “Please… Please come back to me, Vinnie. I cannot bear to live a single moment of my life without you in it.”

‘I promise I’ll come back to you… I… I won’t leave your side… I… promise…’

The name ‘Cavendish’ was Vinnie’s last thought before he finally lost the battle against the need to sleep.

\---------------------------------------------

The next time Dakota woke up, he was able to open his eyes though he immediately regretted it. The room was too bright for his liking. It didn’t help that his head felt like it was filled to the brim with cotton balls and lead weights. The last thing he remembered was someone talking to him, though he couldn’t recall what was said, but that doesn’t explain why he was feeling this way. Vinnie’s chest also ached something fierce while his entire body felt like a living ice cube. The only warm part of his body was his hand, which was gently being held by another and brushing their thumb brushing against the back of his hand in a soothing manner. Vinnie twitched his fingers, attempting to squeeze it reassuringly and failing. However, the owner of the mystery hand got the message, gripping Dakota’s hand tighter in response.

“Dakota? Are you awake?”

Vinnie cracked an eye open and croaked, “Cav?”

Looking at his partner, Dakota was shocked to see that Cavendish wasn’t his usual prim and proper self. His clothes were mussed up and his sleeves were covered in rust colored stains that Dakota knew was blood. Balthazar looked as though he hadn’t slept in days with the dark bags under his eyes and looking paler than usual. Even his mustache matched Cavendish’s wilted look. Balthazar resembled a corpse more than a living person which worried Dakota deeply.

Vinnie tried to push himself up, only to be stopped by Balthazar’s hand on his shoulder and pushed him back into a lying position.

“Do be careful. I don’t want you hurting yourself further or pulling out your IV.”

Just then, Dakota noticed the IV drip next to his bed, steadily suppling him with a saline solution and probably a healthy dose of pain killers. He must be in a hospital then.

Dakota then asked, “What happened? You okay? You hurt?”

Cavendish stared at him incredulously before laughing hysterically. Vinnie’s worry for his partner sharply spiked upwards and was about to ask what was wrong when Balthazar spoke.

“I… I can’t believe you are asking me whether or not I am alright when you’re the one lying on the fucking hospital bed.”

Vinnie’s eyes widened comically. While Cavendish has said the occasional ‘bloody hell’ every so often, he rarely swore unless he was really upset or angry. At the moment, Balthazar looked like he was both. Cavendish let go of the other’s hand and shot up from his chair, pacing as he ranted at Dakota.

“Actually, you know what, I can believe it because you are literally that bloody noble. Always worried about others before even daring to think about yourself,” Balthazar glared angrily at Vinnie, “Do you know what happened, Dakota? You, like the utter moron you are, pushed me out of the way when a random man tried to rob us of our wallets with a knife! And then, here’s the kicker, you were stabbed! In the lung! You didn’t even notice that it was there until I pointed out to you! A few inches to the left and you would have died! Our wallets are not worth your life, Dakota! Do you understand?! You. Could. Have. Died!”

Out of breath from all his yelling, Balthazar let himself collapse into the chair, anger now gone and replaced with weariness. Vinnie was speechless. He knew that Cavendish cared about him, but Dakota never knew how strongly he felt about his safety and well-being. However, now that Balthazar has jogged his memory, Vinnie remembered why he took the hit in the first place. The first time the event unfolded, the robber had gotten a lucky hit, stabbing Cavendish straight through the heart and pulled the knife out. Balthazar had collapsed into Dakota’s arms, dying within a matter of minutes. The robber had fled the scene when he noticed that there were witnesses who were calling the police, but Dakota couldn’t bring himself to care, his focus only on Balthazar. Vinnie had foolishly thought he had become used to his partner’s deaths since it happened so often, but seeing Cavendish slowly fade away in his arms made him shed tears he didn’t know he still had. 

“You could have died, Dakota,” Balthazar whispered as he grabbed his partner’s hand once more, bringing Vinnie back to reality.

Dakota stared at their linked hands and thought to himself, ‘If I didn’t take the hit, you would’ve died instead.’

Trying to alleviate the tension in the room, Vinnie teased, “It’d take a lot more than a stab wound to get rid of me. I have so many more jokes. You’re going to be miserable.”

Cavendish let out a watery laugh at that and rested his head against Dakota’s hand. Vinnie swore he could feel the barest brush of lips against his knuckles, but that might be the drugs talking. 

“Just… just promise me you’ll never scare me like that again,” Balthazar said.

Vinnie wasn’t sure how well he could keep that promise. He would take a thousand knives to the chest if it meant saving Cavendish. But Dakota will try to keep this promise, for Balthazar’s sake.

“I won’t.”


	4. We won! Here comes the victory kiss!

They had finally fixed the time machine with the help of Professor Time, aka Dr. Doofenshmirtz, and their new-found friends. After thanking everybody for their help and promising to fix the time stream, Cavendish, Dakota, Milo, and Orton went back to 1955 to stop Derek before he was able to start his nefarious plans. At the current moment, they were chasing the pistashion through the town fair, trying his best to lose them in the crowded streets and succeeding. 

The group came to a halt when Balthazar exclaimed, “Drat! I no longer have a visual on the slippery fiend.”

Vinnie took this time to catch his breath before stating, “Man, that’s one fast tree. Are we sure he isn’t a Dogwood?”

Cavendish face palmed so hard he left a red mark behind while Orton and Milo tried best to muffle their giggles.

“Now is not the time to be making jokes, Dakota. Save it for after we defeat this villain.”

“Speaking of which,” Dakota said as he looked around the fair, “How are we going to find him? This place is huge.”

“Hmmm,” Milo pondered, “Well, if I was him, I would hide in the last place people would expect me in, like a Chinese finger trap shop.”

“Or maybe a wood sculpture contest,” Orton guessed as he pointed to the sign ahead.

“Well,” Vinnie replied, “Good as any other place to start looking. Let’s go.”

The group entered the area where the contest was being held and there among the sculptures was Derek, who doing a ridiculous pose and pretending to be one of the pieces.

“Aha! We got you now, Derek!” Balthazar shouted as he launched himself at the pistashion.

Cavendish and Derek fell to the ground, only for the pistashion’s head to promptly snap off. Oh, it really was a sculpture. Dakota felt bad for whoever’s piece they just ruined and Balthazar looked extremely embarrassed. 

They heard someone laugh in the distance and remark to them, “Oh wow, what an idiot!”

The group looked over to the person sniggering and saw the real Derek, who was wearing a fake handlebar mustache and a cowboy hat.

“There he is!” Milo cried. “After him!”

Derek’s eyes widened, realizing his error and made a run for it. Milo and Orton chased after him while Vinnie quickly went to over to Balthazar and helped him to his feet. When the time traveler duo caught up to the rest of the group, they found that Milo and Orton had Derek cornered in an abandoned alleyway.

Dakota said, “Looks like your running days are over, nut jobber. We’ve got you planted in one spot.”

Both Cavendish and the pistashion groaned at that one.

“You haven’t caught me yet,” Derek replied. “Besides, I still have a few tricks up my sleeves.” Derek then pulled a ray gun out from underneath his hat and extended his roots to grab Milo, pulling him close to the pistashion. “Or more under my hat in this case.”

“Milo!” the three men cried out when the pistashion pointed the gun towards the boy, who struggled to break free.

“You’ll never get away with this!” Milo declared.

Dakota, who was glowering at the tree monster and clenching his fists so hard they turned white, hissed, “I swear to God, you hurt Murphy and I won’t hesitate to throw you into the nearest wood chipper.”

“Oh really now,” Derek mocked, “I’d like to see you try.”

Vinnie growled, rolling up his sleeves and began to walks towards him, but Cavendish held him back, who looked equally as furious. 

“Now here’s what we’re going to do,” Derek stated, “I’m going to take Milo and your time vehicle so you morons don’t follow me and I am going to continue to develop my plan to take over the world while you all watch. And if you try anything, I’ll turn Milo into mulch. Understand?”

Despite their anger, the three men nodded, not wanting anything to happen to Milo.

“And now, to continue plotting my rule of this world and ridding it of the human race!”

The pistashion began to laugh, thinking he had won, and that’s when Murphy’s Law struck. 

Someone, probably in one of the apartments in the building next to them, cried out, “Fluffy no!”

They all looked up, just in time to see a cat jumping out of a window and landing right on Derek’s face. The pistashion screamed, prompting the cat to hiss and attack his face. Trying to crawl the cat off of his face, Derek dropped both Milo and the ray gun to the ground. Milo landed with an ‘Oomf!’ and Dakota quickly rushed to his side while Balthazar lunged for the gun.

“You okay, Milo?”

Milo beamed at him and gave Vinnie a double thumbs up.

“I’m okay!” Milo answered. “I think I have a few splinters here and there, but I’ve had worse for sure.”

Dakota breathed a sigh of relief and patted the boy on the back before pulling him back towards Orton. Meanwhile, Cavendish aimed the ray gun at Derek, who had managed to rip the furious cat off of his face and throw it in the dumpster. Thankfully, the cat was alright, jumping out of the dumpster and hissing at the pistashion before running off, probably to their master. Before Derek was able to take a single step forward, Balthazar fired, hitting the pistachio tree mutant in the chest. Derek stiffened, letting out an ‘oh fertilize me’ before disintegrating into a cloud of dust. Cavendish then threw the ray gun to the ground and crushed it with his foot so no one would accidently shoot themselves.

“Huh,” Vinnie said, “that’s one way to cut down a tree.”

“We just saved the world a second time and you still can’t stop making jokes,” Cavendish groused, though by his expression, Dakota could tell he wasn’t actually annoyed.

Vinnie flashed his partner a smirk and shrugged.

“What can I say? I’m a jokester. It’s in my blood.”

Jumping for joy and nearly falling flat on his face, Milo cried out, “We did it! We defeated Derek and saved our home! I can’t wait to go back and see everyone! Oh! And also tell Melissa, Zack, and Sara about our adventures, especially that one time where we-”

As Milo chatted to Orton about everything he was going to tell his friends. Dakota moved next to Balthazar.

“We did it Dakota,” Cavendish remarked, watching as Milo almost knocked Orton into a trash can while he waved his arms in his excitement, “We saved the world once again.”

“Yeah…” Vinnie glanced at his partner, who had a thoughtful expression on his face, “Do you think anyone’s gonna believe us this time?”

“I’m sure Milo’s friends and family will. As for the Bureau, I can’t imagine they would believe us even if we put a live pistashion under their noses.”

Dakota let out a loud snort and said, “They’d probably think we paid some shmuck to dress up like a tree. As if we even have the money to do that shit.”

Balthazar chuckled at the comment and then let out a weary sigh, “I don’t think we will ever stop being seen as the failures in the eyes of the Bureau. Well, at least I won’t. You at least have had success in your previous missions. The only mission I have done correctly is clean renaissance outhouses. I’m a poor excuse for a time traveler. An old, crotchety man who never learned when to quit while he was ahead.”

A sense of déjà vu fell over Vinnie, but he shook it off. He turned to face his partner and put a hand on Cavendish’s shoulder.

“For one, you’re not just some crotchety old man. You’re my crotchety old man. For two, who gives two shits about what the Bureau thinks! We saved the world! Twice! You’re a god damn hero, just as much as the rest of us. And you may be stubborn… and rude… and kinda condescending,” Cavendish let out a ‘hey’ in protest, “but you are the most hard working person I know. You’re dedicated, loyal, and care deeply for others. I like that about you, Cav… and I could never ask for a better partner than you. Trust me.”

To say Balthazar was touched was the understatement of the century. Cavendish’s brilliant blue eyes shone brightly as if Dakota gave him earth’s second moon fully intact.

“Dakota, I-”

Balthazar seemed to struggle to find the right words to say to him. Then a look of determination appeared on Cavendish’s face. He moved closer to Vinnie, cupping the other’s jaw with one hand. Dakota unconsciously leaned into it, though he was very confused. Where was Balthazar going with this? That’s when Balthazar started inching forward, as if to let Vinnie know that he could move away at any time. Just before Cavendish’s lips met his own, it finally clicked in Dakota’s head. His partner was about to kiss him. Realizing this, Vinnie’s eyes shuttered shut and closed the rest of the space between them. The kiss was a simple press of the lips, nothing too fancy or passionate, but the honesty and love Balthazar poured into it set Dakota’s insides on fire and shook him to the core of his being. Memories of Cavendish talking to him in the hospital, kissing his forehead and begging him to stay with him came flooding back. Vinnie had thought these kisses Balthazar had been giving him were a joke, a playful gesture of platonic affection on his partner’s part. Now Dakota realized that his partner had meant every single one. Cavendish felt the same way as Vinnie did.

“Oh my gosh! You guys are so cute!” Milo shouted.

Balthazar jolted out of the kiss, jumping a good five feet away from Dakota, who was still in dreamy daze. Meanwhile, Milo and Orton were looking at them. Milo had the biggest, happiest smile on his face while Orton gave a knowing grin very similar to the ones Zack and Melissa had given Vinnie before. 

Cavendish flushed and said, “We better bring Orton and Milo back to their respective times. We haven’t a moment to lose.”

Then Balthazar turned on his heel, snapping Dakota out of his daze, and began walking towards the direction their time vehicle was at. Milo and Orton quickly followed behind him, but Vinnie lagged behind as he processed his thoughts. Cavendish… Cavendish liked him. Dakota actually had a shot at being with Balthazar… and he would be an idiot if he didn’t take the chance.


	5. Vinnie kisses first

A few days have passed since Cavendish had kissed his partner and he had taken to avoiding Dakota like the black plague. It was actually quite impressive since they lived together in a tiny one bedroom apartment. Currently, Cavendish was avoiding Vinnie by getting dressed as slowly as he could manage in the bathroom. It wasn’t because Balthazar was embarrassed for how he felt about Vinnie, but more because he was afraid his partner didn’t feel the same way. Cavendish was 75% positive that he did, but doubts started running through his head. What if Dakota had just let Balthazar kiss him so that he wouldn’t feel bad? Maybe Dakota was just tolerating him? Cavendish groaned, more annoyed at himself than anything else. Why couldn’t he just tell Vinnie about his feelings like a normal person? But no, Balthazar just had to take everything a step too far and kissed him on the lips. 

Despite Cavendish’s extensive vocabulary, he couldn’t seem to find the right words to tell Dakota how he felt about the other. So he tried to communicate his feeling through affectionate actions. Balthazar let casual touches linger longer, he attempted to send Vinnie flirty looks, and he gave his partner kisses. Just a few. A brush of the lips when Dakota burned his fingers, a peck on the cheek to clean off the ice cream on his partner’s face. But Vinnie never made any acknowledgment to his advances and Balthazar pondered whether or not he should be more obvious in his attempts to show him how he felt.

Then Dakota had been stabbed and nearly died in his arms. Cavendish could still remember Vinnie struggling to breathe, eyes glazed over in pain and staring at nothing as blood trickled from the corner of his mouth. Balthazar had never been more terrified in his entire life. If Dakota had died… Cavendish would not have hesitated to travel back in time to save his partner. Doing such a thing would have broken at least three dozen laws, but Balthazar wouldn’t have cared, not when the other option was losing Vinnie forever.

The necessary surgeries were performed and a worried Cavendish paced a hole through the floor. A nurse came out and declared that Dakota was stable. Though relieved, Balthazar realized he had to tell Dakota about his feelings, even if he had to force the words out of his mouth. That was too close of a call for Cavendish’s liking and he would never forgive himself if Vinnie died without how much he loved him. Balthazar had decided to tell Dakota everything after he was healed, but soon after the pistashions tried to take over the world once again. Thoughts of confessing were replaced by thoughts of staying alive and getting back to the past to fix this entire mess. Then, after they had defeated Derek, Dakota had to go and say all those sweet things about him, prompting him to kiss his partner. Cavendish groaned again, leaning his head against the bathroom mirror. Curse Vinnie and his ability to swoon Balthazar with his genuine sweetness and charming personality.

Cavendish sighed and checked his watch. He had already been hogging the bathroom for the past 20 minutes and had been ready for the past 10. Lifting his head from the mirror and scowling at his reflection, Balthazar made a decision. He couldn’t keep running from Dakota like a coward. Cavendish had to face this head on and admit his feelings to him.

“Today will be the day I tell Vinnie Dakota I love him. No ifs, ands, or buts.”

Striking a confident pose, Balthazar opened the door and marched out of the bathroom, only to run right into Vinnie, who was talking on the phone with someone. Cavendish’s ears went red from embarrassment.

“-rything’s still standing? Okay we’ll- oops! Sorry Cav, didn’t see ya there. Yeah I’m still here… Yeah, I just almost ran into Cav… Uh-huh… Yeah… okay, we’ll be there in 15. Thanks again, kid. Later.”

Hanging up and pocketing the cellphone, Dakota looked over at Balthazar, who raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

“Milo, I presume?”

Vinnie nodded, giving Cavendish a dazzling grin, which never failed in setting his heart aflutter. 

“Yep. Said he’s got a surprise for us down at the park near our apartment.” Dakota grabbed Balthazar’s hand and started dragging him towards the front door. “Come on, let’s go check it out.”

“Wait,” Cavendish protested, stopping Vinnie in his tracks, “what about work? Shouldn’t we go and receive our daily mission from Mr. Block?”

“Nah, he called me earlier today. Said he had nothing for us two ‘knuckleheads’ to ‘screw up’ for today, so we might as well take the day off,” Dakota answered.

“Must he continue with these childish insults? It’s highly unprofessional. Also that’s awfully convenient,” Balthazar said as he eyed Vinnie suspiciously. 

Dakota offered him an innocent smile and a shrug. Cavendish sighed.

“Well, we should get going then. We don’t want to keep the boy waiting.”

After exiting their apartment and walking down a flight of stairs, they left their building and made their way towards the park. They walked in an amiable silence, at least in the case of Vinnie. A thousand thoughts were running through Balthazar’s mind. Should he tell Dakota his feelings now? Should he wait until later today? Maybe Cavendish could confess to Vinnie at dinner tonight? Yes, he could take Dakota to his favorite diner, buy him food (as if Balthazar didn’t do that enough already), and proclaim his love. With a plan in mind, Cavendish allowed himself to relax a little, before realizing that he and Vinnie had been holding hands the entire time without him noticing. Balthazar willed his rapidly beating heart to calm down. 

When they spotted Milo, accompanied by Zack and Melissa and were currently shooing away squirrels away from a picnic lunch they must have prepared, Dakota smiled and ran towards them, letting go of Cavendish’s hand, much to his disappointment. 

“Hey guys! Thanks again for all the help and protecting the picnic for us.”

Balthazar shot Vinnie a look of confusion while Milo beamed at them.

“No problem, Mr. Dakota! We were happy to help.”

Zack nodded in agreement and said, “We are just glad you guys are finally getting together.”

Melissa snorted, adding, “Yeah, we have watched you guys dance around each other like love struck idiots for ages now.”

Cavendish couldn’t tell if his heart was beating too fast for him to comprehend or if it had stopped moving all together. Did the kids just say what he thought they said? Eyes wide, Balthazar looked down at Dakota, who rubbed at his neck sheepishly.

“Alright, we’ll leave you two love birds be,” Melissa said with a smirk, “Besides, Zack here owes me $10.”

“What?” Zack cried out. “But Cavendish kissed him first! He made the first move!”

Melissa shrugged and replied, “Well, Dakota technically made the first official move by taking him out on a date so… Pay up, mister.”

Zack shook his head.

“Nuh-uh. I was the one who won the bet fair and square. You’re the one who owes me $10.”

The two of them began walking away, still arguing about who owed who money while Milo gave Vinnie and Balthazar each a hug and whispered ‘good luck’ to the both of them before running to catch up with his friends. Dakota waved goodbye to their friends and Cavendish remained frozen, unable to process what was happening. 

When the kids were out of sight, Balthazar was able to move once more and whirled to face Vinnie.

“Are you… Is this… Are we on a date right now?” Cavendish asked.

For once, Dakota didn’t make any jokes.

“Only if you want it to be, Cav.”

The shock and confusion left Balthazar’s face and was replaced by a shy, soft smile.

“Yes… I would like that very much, Vinnie.”

Vinnie beamed at him and then plopped down on the blanket, patting the spot next to him. Cavendish pretended to ponder about the offer for a minute, before joining Dakota on the ground. Then Vinnie scooted closer, grabbing Balthazar’s hand and lacing their fingers together. Dakota rested his head on his shoulder, closing his eyes and letting out a content sigh which Cavendish returned. They sat there for a while, just soaking in the other’s presence. Then Balthazar spoke.

“Vinnie?”

“Hmmm?”

“I know this is probably quite obvious since I agreed to go on a date with you but… I want to tell you that I’m quite smitten with you. Head over heels to be honest, and have been for years. I have been wanting to tell you that for so long and I know we have barely begun this relationship, but I just wanted to let you know that.”

Cavendish glanced over at Dakota and was surprised when his partner’s lips meet his own, capturing him in a passionate kiss. Balthazar’s eyes fluttered shut as he melted into the kiss. Making sure they didn’t disconnect, Vinnie crawled into Cavendish’s lap and held the other’s face in his hands. Balthazar responded by gently gripping his partner’s waist. They briefly separated before Dakota pulled Cavendish into another kiss, then another and another while slowly pushing his partner down until his back was flush against the ground, hands on either side of his head. Finally, the need for air became too great and they separated, only inches away from each other as they gasped for air.

Vinnie looked Balthazar in the eyes and said, “I love you too, Balthazar. Have for a long time.”

Cavendish couldn’t remember the last time his heart felt so light. Dakota was about to pull him into another kiss, but then Balthazar stopped him.

“As much as I would love to kiss you until time itself ended, the kids put so much effort into setting up this picnic for us and it’s be such a shame to waste it.”

Vinnie shook his head and uttered something Cavendish never thought he would hear coming from his partner.

“Nah, the food can wait. Right now, I just want to make up for all the time I could’ve spent kissing you.”


End file.
